Kate Bachtel

Never & Always Enough: Recognizing Internalized Ableism at School

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Towards the end of the school day, Esperanza is called to support a student who is throwing classroom materials and yelling at other students that he hates them. He rips a poster off the wall then lunges forward with fists clenched at his sides. His eyes are wide and seething with anger. Tears stream as he cries, “Get away from me!” As the classroom teacher has students quietly leave the classroom, Esperanza sits on the floor. She turns on quiet classical music and observes. The student starts to de-escalate. Esperanza’s facial expressions mirror the student’s distress. When he appears grounded enough to listen, she states “It looks like you might feel angry; how can I help?”

Esperanza is a neurodivergent exceptional education teacher who weaves magic in her interactions with children. She is able to support multiple aspects of each student’s emerging self simultaneously. After regulating students, she supports them in developing the emotional skills needed to build strong relationships and engage with the academic curriculum. Her empathy, sensitivity and listening skills are her teaching superpowers. Most who work alongside Esperanza recognize her exceptional teaching and leadership skills. Esperanza is also a truth speaker who challenges systemic inequities. Despite strong diplomacy skills, she experiences frequent microaggressions from colleagues. Esperanza’s exemplary practices are inspiring to many, and perceived as a threat by others who prefer the unjust status quo.

Neurodivergent individuals experience relational aggression at school, and in the workplace, at rates more than double their peers. As a result, their identity development and health may be negatively impacted.

Part of the work of positively transforming schools begins by defining and recognizing ableism. Ableism is discrimination and/or social prejudice against people with disabilities and/or neurodivergence, based on the belief that the abilities and functioning of the majority is superior to outliers. Children who thrive in a typical, or general education classroom, are considered superior to students who need specialized services, environmental modifications and accommodations to sustain their learning and growth. This includes both students eligible for gifted and/or special education services. 

Ableism towards those with unseen neurodivergence is especially difficult to recognize and remedy. At its core, ableism assumes neurodivergent individuals are in need of fixing. Ableism includes when a person in a position of power sees a neurodivergent colleague, student or client as less than – “Oh you poor little thing.” Even if these are not the words used, nonverbal communication and tone of voice convey pity and superiority. 

Internalized ableism is when children, teachers and caregivers feel less than because of how they have been treated over time.

Here are a few examples of behaviors that could be signs of internalized ableism:

  • Hiding or denying one’s neurodivergence and/or feeling ashamed about it
  • Despite strengths, feeling incompetent
  • Making choices to align with the expectations of parents, teachers or leaders rather than personal values
  • Feeling unworthy of accolades and achievements
  • Overcompensating for neurodivergence by trying to prove or explain oneself
  • Forcing oneself to do activities that lead to overwhelm or burnout in the hopes of gaining acceptance
  • Self-isolation
  • Apologizing when having done nothing wrong
  • Self-deprecation
  • Compliant behaviors

The absence of high quality specialized education services during a person’s K-12 school experiences increases the risk of internalized ableism and compromised mental health over the lifetime. Aligning instruction with learning and human development research is critical. Nurturing a culture of belonging is the foundation of well-being at school. Programming that focuses exclusively on academics, with little to no attention to other aspects of the emerging self, can cause harm. 

School programs that promote conventional definitions of success tied to specific outcomes, or careers, often unintentionally contribute to internalized ableism.

If a neurodivergent individual identifies as a “former gifted child,” or struggles with mental health connected to achievement, they did not receive instruction aligned with human development research. Sadly, there are too many specialized programs, especially those marketed as “gifted” schools or programs, that are not. Private gifted schools can be especially problematic as they have to fundraise to survive which often results in catering to financially affluent families rather than to neurodivergent children. These programs contribute to myths and misconceptions that stunt advocacy efforts.

Initiating conversations about internalized ableism is a critical first step in protecting those with unseen differences. As awareness grows, neurodivergent students, teachers and parents deepen understanding of how they process and experience the world and become less vulnerable to the harmful effects of subtle ableism. What are some examples of ableism you have witnessed or experienced in a school setting?

Challenging “Gifted” to Resonate

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Words Matter.

How we self-identify influences self-concept and how we relate to one another.

The term “gifted” is an antinomy.

It connects many to communities where we are validated and feel seen, where it is easy to breathe. Yet, the word is heavy, so heavy. Few use it when describing themselves and with good reasons. Simultaneous to uniting and growing self-awareness, when used out loud, the label creates distance. Gifted implies innate, unmalleable superiority contrary to the research on neuroplasticity. Unfortunately, some who use the word to self-describe engage in privilege hoarding behaviors that fuel misconceptions and biases. Sometimes the term is a trigger, reminding adults of oppressive and traumatic childhood educational experiences. Gifted falls short in describing truth.

The Problem with Pobrecita.

The definition of giftedness includes asynchrony in development. No one knows exactly where giftedness ends and twice-exceptionality begins. Like the horizon connects earth and sky, so too are strengths and needs joined at a blurry, enigmatic point in time and space. The perception of where union occurs is contingent on context and perspective. A person may be perceived as gifted, different / disabled or both, depending on the environment and the lens through which they are being viewed.

Labels for some neurotypes come with legal protections and compassion. There is diagnostic overlap among some of the physiological and neurological characteristics of giftedness and other exceptionalities. Western medicine’s orientation towards pathologizing makes it more likely a child will be identified with a disability than as a neurodivergent gifted child. With ambiguity and choice, some feel it is more politically safe to identify with the disability side of the same diagnostic coin. For example, having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may be received by neighbors and educators with greater empathy than psychomotor overexcitability associated with giftedness.

Making oneself appear small and less threatening is both adaptive and maladaptive. While marrying cognitive diversity and disability may feel safer, Pobrecita, “You poor little dear,” is a problematic way of relating. The cost of positioning oneself beneath another is the potential internalization of deficit messaging, of feeling less than, and relationships with power imbalances.

Embrace Truth, Transform Lives.

If a word creates more painful distance among people than already exists, has its time passed? The word gifted can be a conversation stopper and barrier to effective advocacy. It is not how many altruistic people who truly are describe themselves in public. Asking people what word(s) they use to self-describe, or explain the neurotype, expands understanding and strengthens relationships.

Previously, SoulSpark Learning partnered with leaders, including the Rogue Valley Brainery & Ludoteca, to try and “Rebrand Gifted.” This culminated in a grassroots campaign at the National Association of Gifted Children’s convention in 2015. Attendees were invited to share words they use to self-describe – some of the most frequent mentioned were complex, intense, sensitive, creative and compassionate. We fell short. Our timing was wrong. No one word emerged with consensus. There were lessons yet to be learned.

Now, the documentary film The G Word, has a similar “My Gifted Story” social media campaign and Gifted/Talented/Neurodiverse (G/T/N) Advocacy Week October 25-29. SoulSpark Learning invites you to participate and connect with us at the National Association of Gifted Children’s convention in Denver this November. Each of SoulSpark Learning’s directors will be presenting sessions and facilitating conversations on how we can unite to be more effective in our advocacy efforts. To prepare, we will be facilitating a virtual conversation on this same topic with The G Word director and producer, Marc Smolowitz. Will you join us on Sunday November 7th at 4pm mountain time? Click HERE for more information and to register for this free event.

We are grateful for you and love connecting with you – here’s to the work ahead!

 

The Complex Simplicity of Gifted Well-Being

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Dear Gifted Student Ally,

Imagine a community where everyone is a voracious learner. Educators are prepared to support various aspects of the emerging gifted student self. Instruction is designed so each is challenged and nurtured. Students question injustices and are provided opportunities to innovate. Certainly these circumstances would lead to each student and teacher thriving, right? I once naively held this belief and was confidently wrong. What does gifted well-being look like? Should it be measured at school? If so, how? What is the relationship between well-being and trauma? Let’s start with where I fell short.

A Gifted Failure. Rewind a dozen years. The social and emotional learning (SEL) movement was gaining momentum. Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG) had become a nonprofit in 2001 as society was learning more about how gifted individuals experience the world – the increased awareness was a salve, a virtual hug. Still, too many gifted youth were suffering. I thought if a school program addressed each aspect of development outlined in the SENG mission (social, emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual), each would flourish. This focus does help, often dramatically, but is not a guarantee of gifted well-being. And, there is more to supporting each developmental domain than many realize. Take physical development as an example. The definition of a healthy diet can vary dramatically; one person eats nuts as a primary protein source and another is deathly allergic.

I initially experienced wonder and connection working in the gifted program. On the surface, the environment appeared blissful. Over time I grew perplexed by the broad spectrum of behaviors; in one building I witnessed altruism and cruelty. Sometimes from the same person! My head spun. Why would the parent of a student who was joyful and challenged at school send harassing emails to the child’s teachers? Why was the profoundly gifted teacher most disapproving of the student in her class seemingly most like her? Later I learned these behavioral patterns are not uncommon when individuals experience oppression, abuse and/or neglect. The oppressed is at risk of becoming the oppressor, often unaware they are caught in the cycle. Invisible wounds can cause extreme behaviors.

In reflecting, the majority of families and educators had shared about traumatic experiences, many connected to school. I wish I had known that when a person grows accustomed to suffering, thriving can feel unfamiliar. In this event, it is not uncommon to subconsciously introduce discord to maintain the energetic status quo. Additional distress can occur when emotional pain is pathologized. Recalibrating a nervous system from hypervigilance to tranquility is not something most teachers are taught how to do. Furthermore, caregivers to individuals experiencing trauma are vulnerable to Secondary Traumatic Stress.[1]Knowledge gaps left me under prepared. Unfortunately, many well-intentioned communities fail to recognize these dynamics. Worse, when they do, they lack the courage to examine and address toxic policies and practices that contribute to unseen pain spreading like the flu.

Gifted well-being is an exquisitely complex and simple paradox.

Thank you for forgiving ignorant hope.

The Complexity. Given individual and environmental intricacies, predicting well-being can be as challenging as forecasting the weather. Integrated whole person development is a different recipe for each person that requires both disciplined practice and flexibility to achieve. What dimensions of development should be supported in order for gifted individuals to thrive? Emotional, creative, sociopolitical, physical, eco-literacy, intellectual, physical, multicultural and spiritual each impact the other and have a significant impact on life outcomes (SoulSpark Learning, 2017). In addition, understanding physiological differences among gifted individuals can help prevent mistreatment (Gifted Research and Outreach, 2019). To add to the complexity, peace can look different for cognitive outliers. Sometimes one person’s comfort makes another feel irritated.

“When Calm Moves Swiftly”

Sometimes peace steps slowly,

Other times it sprints.

Varied speeds,

Different perspectives,

Exploring.

The rate of

Clarity

Is individuated.

With hope society

Can hold

The tension in

Disparate velocities,

And that those whose

Serenity

Is found at a swift pace

Be liberated

To move as they are

Called.

Each thread of our being is nuanced. Consider the emotional heart center,

They (emotions) are composed of many different processes that are interconnected with each other. They do not occur in isolation but rather are created either as a result of an event or combination of events in the external environment or the mind. They are also dependent on a subject’s history and personality. In addition, it is very unlikely that one emotion occurs by itself (Laycraft & Gierus, 2019, p.3).

Plutchik’s psycho-evolutionary theory of emotions outlines how various emotions combine to form emotional patterns that increase a person’s ability to navigate complicated situations. Frequent emotional patterns can contribute to disposition (as cited by Laycraft and Gierus, 2019). Then consider that emotional literacy is only one of countless pieces to the emotional development puzzle. According to Six Seconds, there are seven other skills included within the construct (2019). Emotional intelligence (EQ) assessments support in identifying skills gaps, but few educators are taught how to effectively teach EQ competencies. Still, emotional development is only one of many multidimensional elements influencing the experience of well-being.

Gifted well-being is layers of stunning chaos.

Thank you for exercising compassion.

The Simplicity. Gifted well-being can be pursued in a straightforward cycle: listen, validate, challenge, create, repeat. No explanation necessary. We experience well-being in our bodies as a vibration; we intuitively recognize it when we feel it. More formally, the World Health Organisation assesses well-being with the WHO-5 index exploring feelings of joy, calm, purpose and vitality (2019). How might schools evolve if the WHO-5 was a measure of success? What would the data say about the health of students who do not have access to inclusive and responsive programming?

Specific to gifted youth, if the goal is empowerment, research suggests regularly practicing the following:

  • Engaging strengths and interests in purposeful ways
  • Creative behaviors
  • Nurturing connections to the natural world and cultural climate
  • Emotional skills linked to life outcomes
  • Cognitive, physical and emotional agility

Practice is a process without destination. What if school schedules were designed in flow with these habits? These five practices support the eight dimensions of development critical to gifted well-being referenced earlier (Bachtel, 2017).

In its simplest form, gifted well-being could be described as our ability to love. To love each other. To love the mystery. To love being. Love connects the gifted experience full circle with the human experience.

Gifted well-being is an imperfect practice.

Thank you for setting high expectations.

Domo arigato for teaching what supports well-being for one may not for another.

Merci for questioning.

Šukran for remembering standards can limit and create outliers.

Xiè xiè nǐ for appreciating the beauty of each culture’s intelligence.

Muchíssimas gracias for holding the vision of a society where every person thrives.

Thank you for listening to what sparks your soul.

With Gratitude, Curiosity and Smiles,

Kate

(Note: This article was originally published by SENG in November of 2019)

Resources & References:

Gifted Research and Outreach

https://www.gro-gifted.org

Mind Matters Podcast

https://www.mindmatterspodcast.com/

SENG

www.sengifted.org

Six Seconds

https://www.6seconds.org/

SoulSpark Learning

www.soulsparklearning.org

Bachtel, K. (2017). Seeing the Unseen: An Educational Criticism of a Gifted School.

Dissertation.

Gatto-Walden, P. (2016). Embracing the Whole Gifted Self. Unionville, NY: Royal Fireworks Press.

Laycraft, K. & Gierus, B. (2019). Acceptance: The Key to a Meaningful Life. Calgary, Alberta: Nucleaus Learning.

Schepers, O. (2017). A Teacher at Risk: Giving Voice to Teacher Secondary Traumatic

Stress. Dissertation.

The World Health Organisation-Five Well-Being Index (WHO-5). [Measurement Instrument]. Retrieved from: https://www.psykiatri-regionh.dk/who-5/Pages/default.aspx

Disclaimer: I am not a health care professional or clinician; my doctorate is in education with a specialization in gifted education.

[1] Secondary Traumatic Stress occurs when caregivers exhibit signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) without having been exposed to direct trauma themselves. With educators, this includes caring for students experiencing either psychological trauma (causes include, but are not limited to, abuse or neglect at home or school) or insidious trauma (causes include, but are not limited to, marginalization, oppression and invalid assessment practices) (Cates, 2014 as cited by Schepers, 2017).

Telepathic Communication for High Stress Moments

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Thoughts, without spoken words, can be a powerful way to connect. I recently had a successful telepathic parenting moment with my teen during a driving lesson. She has her learner’s permit and was practicing during rush hour. For the past few weeks, impeachment arguments have been broadcast across airwaves, perhaps creating feelings of agitation. And, it’s the holiday season. Some drivers are harried trying to meet end of year deadlines, prepare for travels or to host guests. The surrounding environmental anxiety level was high and I was proud of her for driving mindfully.

Then it came time to turn left off a busy road. Her signal was on, but the long line of cars behind us was not slowing. My daughter’s focus was on the road ahead. She was uncertain of exactly where to turn and was slowing to be extra cautious; it seemed she might stop. The possibility of us getting rear ended was real. My body tensed while silently screaming “Go, go, go!” Verbalizing this would have likely increased her nervousness and the possibility of an accident occurring. Instead, I took a deep breath and thought, “I love you, please, please keep moving.” Miraculously, she sped up and turned. (Note: This is not an endorsement for driving instruction by telepathy).

What can we do when there is wisdom we want to share, but children aren’t ready to hear it? Telepathic communication can be a self-care strategy; it can satisfy the desire to take action without interfering in the learning process. Telepathic practices also reduce sensory input for highly sensitive youth. Less talk equals less potential for overwhelm. And, in reducing verbal noise, we might increase understanding of the nuances of nonverbal communication.

Sometimes telepathic communication works, other times not so much. Here are a few successes:

  • Situation: A student with highly self-critical behavior is working on a project. There is a misspelling in the title.
    • Telepathic thought (lovingly delivered while looking at the mistake): “You misspelled adenosine triphosphate.”
    • Result: Student notices and corrects the error.
  • Situation: Children are preparing to leave the house while navigating competing and contrasting sensitivities. If we don’t get out the door in the next few minutes, we will all be late.
    • Telepathic thought (delivered with a smile and direct eye contact): “Thanks for getting in the car now; it will help create a peaceful start to the day.” (walk immediately to car after)
    • Result: We all make it to where we need to be on time sans argument.
  • Situation: Students return from a performance rehearsal to work on projects in small groups. One student has a serious case of the zooms.
    • Telepathic thought (delivered kneeling beside the student, first looking at them and then at the group project): “Your classmates need your feedback and ideas, can you please help them?”
    • Result: Student tunes in and joins in the work.

And for amusement, an example of a telepathic failure from earlier today:

  • Situation: I am writing this piece while eating some toast with jelly. I am considering having another piece so leave the jar out on the counter.
    • Telepathic thought from a family member to me: (delivered while looking at the jar with both disgust and love of the obliviousness of being in flow): “Seriously Kate?!?! The jelly you just ate is moldy.”
    • Spoken words after I continue to eat the toast: “Did you notice the jelly you are eating has mold?”
    • Result: No, I was so focused that I enjoyed the toast mold and all. The jelly was not wasted, but other side effects remain to be seen.

When the emotional weather conditions create a flurry of worry, don’t forget your calming and grounding friend telepathy. You might be surprised by the gifts of reflection, patience and connection she brings.

Supporting Student & Educator Well-Being: Assistance and Resistance Required

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Sometimes educators are asked to follow policies that stunt student growth or worse, cause harm. This is why I am hoping you will stick with me for the next 5 minutes or so.

Today is both my son’s and my aunt’s birthday, one a student, the other a career high school educator. The best way I can think of to celebrate them is to ask for your partnership in supporting educator and student well-being.

Part One: 2 Gifts You Can Give Educators Today

Let’s begin with educators. Like my Mom and Dad, my aunt is an exemplary educator. Her optimism, high expectations and compassion contributed to outstanding student outcomes across her career.

Some of the greatest heartache and lost sleep educators experience stems from being told to do things they know are not in a student’s best interest. In Colorado, the statute that defines emotional maltreatment of children only applies to interfamilial relations. This places educators whose make decisions inconsistent with policy, yet supportive of student well-being at risk. Educators should not fear disciplinary action, including losing their jobs, for prioritizing children’s health. Many policies contribute to the dehumanization of students by failing to take into account individual needs and circumstances. Best practices are at odds with policy more often than many realize. 

I invite you to please consider one of the following quick gifts to support educator well-being:

  1. A Service. If you are a provider (anything from spa services, to accounting, acupuncture, legal or nutritional services, estate planning and more), please consider donating your time to educators. Colorado ranks among the lowest in educator compensation and together we can work to bridge this gap. We’ll create a database and match participating providers with educators in partnership with local schools and non-profits of similar mission.
  2. A Story. If you are an educator and have a story of a time you were asked to follow a policy at the expense of a student’s health, PLEASE share with us. Take a few minutes to record a video and email it (we are good at transcribing), craft a short email or provide a more detailed account. We are intimately aware of the risk of retaliatory behavior and honor requests for confidentiality.

We are hopeful the day will come when educators will be exempt from following policy when there is evidence that doing so could negatively impact student physical and/or mental health.

Part Two: 2 Gifts You Can Give Students Today

And next, for youth. We can greatly reduce the number of student psychological injuries. Schools being under-resourced contributes to these occurrences; however, it’s not an excuse. While great lessons can be learned from experiences of oppression, discrimination and even abuse, not all have access to the resources needed to heal and it’s unrealistic to expect this will change anytime soon.

Psychological injuries are among the most difficult to recover from. When you have visible physical injuries, neighbors and friends are cued to step in and offer support. Students with unseen injuries are often marginalized because their unbearable feelings can result in behaviors perceived as challenging. In the cruelest instances, these children are pushed out of schools. The societal costs far outweigh any perceived short-term financial savings to schools that engage in these isolating practices.

So…now for two asks to support student well-being:

  1. Reach out. Craft a note, share a song, hug or other expression of encouragement with a child you think may be experiencing psychological injuries. Connection is one of the most powerful healing forces.
  2. Report. Communicate about incidents of perceived emotional maltreatment of youth in schools to the appropriate authorities, district attorney’s office, local and/or state board of education. This takes courage and we’re standing beside you. If you have concerns about reporting, please share your stories with SoulSpark Learning. We will protect your privacy while compiling relevant data.

If the data is compelling, perhaps legislators will be called to action too. Given youth spend much of their optimal learning hours in school, educators have a significant influence on development. It is reasonable to expect youth will be protected from psychological injuries, not only at home, but at school too.

In sum, please consider taking a few moments to:

  1. Donate a service that supports educator well-being.
  2. Share a story of a time school or district policy conflicted with student health.
  3. Love on a child in your neighborhood or school community who may be suffering.
  4. Report incidents of emotional maltreatment of students in schools.

Happiest Birthday Mr. B & Aunt Sandy – I love you!

SoulSpark Learning is a non-profit dedicated to optimizing the development of youth and the educators who care for them.

Back to School with Mister Rogers… and Neuroscientists

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If neuroscientists and Mister Rogers collaborated to write a Welcome Back to School Recipe, the first ingredient would be feelings of belonging.  

JUST HOW CRITICAL ARE FEELINGS OF BELONGING?

Belonging has been prioritized in Native American educational practices utilized and refined over the course of 15,000 years across approximately 200 tribal languages. On the medicine wheel, belonging resides in the east, where the sun rises. Instruction does not begin until each student feels connected to the community. For indigenous educators, nurturing feelings of belonging is priority número uno (Brendtro, Brokenleg & Van Bockern, 2009).

Today neuroscience backs up these ancient practices. Social baseline theory, informed by the work of Beckes and Coan, teaches all humans are oriented to be interdependent. Close proximity to others decreases stress hormones, calms the nervous system and improves learning. In contrast, social isolation typically results in a decrease in a person’s capacity to regulate their emotions. Those who are marginalized may experience an increased need for sleep and food intake, decreased physical activity and maybe even decreased immune system functioning. When a person is physically or psychologically injured, the presence of others accelerates healing (Beckes & Coan, 2011).

Mister Rogers put it simply in his welcoming song:

“I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you
So let’s make the most of this beautiful day…
Won’t you be my neighbor?”

Now that is an attitude of an educator who knows their neuroscience! Won’t you please be my student?!

PRACTICALLY SPEAKING

As we begin a new academic calendar year, here are some questions neighbors, educators and parents can ask and steps to take to be more effective activists.

  1. How is Your Community Measuring and Communicating Student Feelings of Belonging?

What are the attendance rates at your local schools? What about student and family retention data? If there are few school choices in your area, the retention rates might be high even if the quality of instruction is low. What are the high school drop out rates in your district? You might find yourself surprised to learn that a “top performing” school has a high student drop out rate. Most importantly, what do students have to say about how educators behave? This critical qualitative data is often overlooked. If our communities fail to make youth feel welcome and authentically cared for, nothing else matters. Measuring feelings of belonging aligns with excellence and equity goals. If you don’t have this data, ask for it, share it and use the information to inform decision making. Budget and time limitations? Start by surveying outlier populations that may already be feeling disenfranchised.

  1. Interpreting Current Policies to Support Student Well-being

School policies are written with the intent of supporting student well-being, learning and growth. Yet, often times they are not implemented that way. Similar to the judicial branch of the government where lawyers, police officers and judges apply the law differently, educators hold the power to interpret district and school policies through the lens of what will best serve each individual child.

If a decision appears to be hurting a student, say so. Whether you are a groundskeeper, parent, educator, volunteer, school resource officer, counselor or other community member, communicate the impact the decision is having on the child and invite the decision maker, often times a school administrator, to change their decision. This is especially important in districts with site based decision making where district level staff have fewer avenues to remedy injustices.

  1. Reform Discipline Policy to Actually Discipline

Discipline is practice. It is focused effort. Discipline is learning new behaviors and habits to increase access to opportunity. Suspension and expulsion practices are not discipline. At best they are exclusionary and worst injurious. As highlighted in this week’s Ed Week article, it is time to rethink policy. We challenge you to share an example of a time when suspending a student grew feelings of connection and improved their learning. Yeah, we couldn’t think of one either.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

In mourning Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, who passed away today, there could not be a more beautiful closing to this piece than the memory of her singing, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!”

Here’s to beginning with belonging – youth are the reason we are here!

Shine on,

Team SoulSpark

Looking for more information? Click here to read an article SENG published on the relationship between a student’s environment and their development.

Beckes, L., & Coan, J. (2011). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(12), 976-988. doi. 10.1111/j.1751-9004.2011.00400.x

Brendtro, L., Brokenleg, M. & Van Bockern, S. (2009). Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for The Future. [Kindle Version]. Bloomington: Solution Tree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yin for the Yang

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“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

~ Edith Wharton

Power is a weighty word. For a variety of reasons, including having witnessed abuse of power within their families, neighborhoods or school communities, many people with stronger feminine, or yin energy (independent of gender), are intimidated by the concept. The empathic never want to risk causing harm; they want to sit alongside others, not rule over them.

Nature’s Super Blood Red Blue Moon Eclipse provided a reminder that society can shift thinking by clearly defining “power” in a transformative way: the ability to match resources to unmet needs and remedy inequities. Like when the sun, moon and earth align, applying power to create balance recalibrates towards equity.

How do we support youth in remaining true to themselves? There are times the moon lights the sky and other times the sun. Nature has a balanced cycle. The same has not always held true in our schools and communities. The highly sensitive can be adept at picking up social cues and can inadvertently become “pleasers,” veiling their true selves to gain social acceptance. In reality, dimming the yin light upsets both the yin and the yang.

Here are a few practices to support the yin in rising to balance with the yang, the moon with the sun and feminine with the masculine:

  • Supersize the Lunar Confidence Please!

There is an unfortunate discrepancy in confidence levels among genders. Kay and Shipman share, “Evidence shows that women are less self-assured than men – and that to succeed, confidence matters as much as competence.” [i] Fortunately, we can boost confidence.

Imposter syndrome, a psychological phenomenon in which individuals struggle to internalize accomplishments despite evidence of competence, erodes confidence. Ask students who feel like frauds, “What would an expert do in this situation?” Support in identifying the skills requisite to achieve the desired outcome. Share examples of past achievements and evidence of aptitude to narrow the distance between inaccurate self-perceptions and reality. Participating in sports and extra-curriculars can also enhance confidence; introduce students to a variety of activities until they find one that fits.

  • Leave Yesterday’s Perceptual Reality in the Rear View Mirror

The Heidi / Howard experiment detailed in Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg reveals:

“When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less. This truth is both shocking and unsurprising: shocking because no one would ever admit to stereotyping on the basis of gender and unsurprising because clearly we do.“[ii]

Educate about biases and explore equitable solutions such as providing specific, measurable examples of what constitutes excellent performance. Transparency and direct communication practices help prevent abuse of power. We can model for youth how to be inclusive by refusing to listen to gossip and practicing perspective taking. If someone is being excluded or disparaged, invite them to the conversation table. If an individual refuses to engage in dialogue or continues injurious behavior, explain it may be healthy to take some time away. Empower the yin to say “Stop!” to the yang when it is the moon’s turn to shine. And in fewer contexts, the reverse.

  • Integrate Feminine and Masculine Practices

The sun’s rays are not better than the moon’s reflection, they are simply different. Both are needed to balance.

When working to create equilibrium in communities, I will frequently ask a group to name female leaders who inspire them. The subsequent silence leads one to believe this is a deeply challenging question. Sometimes a few reply with names of famous women – Michelle Obama, Lady Gaga, maybe Amelia Earhart, Maya Angelou or Elizabeth Warren. NEVER has anyone named one of the extraordinary women sitting beside them. I wonder sadly, “Why?” Is it because feminine leaders are still assimilating to familiar, hierarchal leadership models? Are we afraid if we celebrate a female colleague there may not be room for us at the top? Does there have to be a top? In my work with empathic students, I have found that in the absence of adult influence they intuitively embrace collaborative leadership structures.

A New Zen Norm

Equity champion, Paulo Freire, sagely states, “The oppressed, instead of striving for liberation, tend themselves to become oppressors.”[iii] One of the greatest opportunities on the horizon for our youth is to end the cycle of oppression. A key to this puzzle is developing more responsive and dynamic organizational structures with reduced power distance. Leadership is a culturally defined construct. The yin feminine energy invites society to better align resources with needs.

[i] Kay, Katty and Shimpan, Claire. (2014, May). The Confidence Gap. The Atlantic. Retreived from

http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/04/the-confidence-gap/359815/

[ii] Sandberg, Sheryl. (2013). Lean In: Women, Work and The Will to Lead. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.

[iii] Freire, Paulo. (2000). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Bloomsbury Academic.

A Month of Peace Full Practices

Posted on Posted by Kate Bachtel Categories Uncategorized

As part of SoulSpark’s dedication to supporting the well-being of students and educators, each day this December we will share one of our practices for creating peace within ourselves and our communities.

Since transitions in our nation’s political climate over the past year, we have noticed children and educators are reporting feeling more on edge. In some ways, progress is being made as some of society’s dark history is being brought to light. At the same time, there are highly visible leaders who continue abusive and injurious behaviors seemingly without understanding of the impact of their actions on others or worse, knowingly and without remorse. This challenges each of us to maintain disciplined focus on creating peace. This sounds simple, but is not easy.

When we are in a toxic environment surrounded by individuals engaging in oppressive practices, the natural reaction is often to invest energy in that direction, into preparing for the fight. Yet, as Einstein eloquently states above, when we do, it is contrary to the goal of creating more harmonious communities.

Likewise, when an organization or community has become accustomed to suffering, well-being can feel unfamiliar and abnormal. Even with a shift to a clear intention for creating a nurturing environment, it is easy to inadvertently return to the stunting status quo. We honor the complexity of each individual and context and understand health is a privilege that comes with responsibilities. Recent current events remind us that without ongoing practice, it is easy to regress. To that end, we begin a month of sharing some of the practices that create feelings of peace in the educators and students we serve with wishes they have the same effect within you.

PRACTICE #1: The Kundalini Frog Pose 12.1.17

Practicing the Kundalini Frog pose can help when you are feeling gunky or stuck; some yoga practitioners state it aligns your heart, body and spirit. Others claim it increases self-esteem and creativity and that the pose aids in releasing fears.

We challenge you to spend 2 minutes practicing the kundalini frog pose today. If you have never tried it before, here is an INTRODUCTORY VIDEO to explain how.

Taking a few minutes to do the frog pose when when we are exposed to violence or suffering helps maintain a calm environment conducive to growth and learning. Stay tuned for more over the course of the next 30 days.

PRACTICE #2: Smile 12.2.17

This one is easy. When I was a young girl, my grandfather encouraged me to engage in simple social experiments. If I practiced smiling more, what impact would it have on my mood? On my relationships? On my ability to get work done?

Since then, neuroscience has taught us more about the relationship between our thoughts, emotions and the physical sensations in our body. Amy Cuddy’s popular, Ted Talk, Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are, provided a small window into how.

Try it yourself. What impact does the practice of smiling have on you?

PRACTICE #3: Get Outside 12.3.17

Literally, all you have to do is get outside and voila, you will feel the benefits of nature. There is a reason we crave time outdoors. Whether you are called to the forest, river, garden or natural sunlight, there are both physical and psychological benefits to being outside. Some call this eco-therapy.

Reported positive benefits range from lower stress levels, improved sleep quality, increased fitness (if exercising) and feelings of connection. The Japanese practice of forest bathing, spending time in the forest, has been shown to benefit the nervous system and boost immune system functioning.

Today’s challenge is to spend at least 30 minutes outside. Better yet, can you commit to getting outdoors every single day for the rest of 2017? Knowing the feelings of peace this practice creates has us on our way out the door.

PRACTICE #4 Watch a Sunrise (or Sunset) or Gaze at the Moon 12.4.17

All it took was one glance at last night’s supermoon to remind us of the feelings of peace the sun and moon create. Witnessing the sun make her first or last appearance of the day is awe-inspiring. Don’t have access to a skyline? Looking at images can have a similar effect. At night, turn your eyes towards the sky and bath in the moon’s glow.

PRACTICE #5: Feel Pain 12.5.17

It is easy to numb ourselves to both our own pain and the pain of others: the pain of hungry children, of victims of abuse or neglect, of people who have lost their homes to fires, hurricanes or floods or worse; the list goes on and on. Society is replete with pain avoidance tools: alcohol, tv, pot (easily accessible here in Colorado), social media, overeating and more. We are often taught to stuff the pain down, place it on hold or sweep it under the rug. It is easy for pain to go unrecognized, lingering undercover like a fox watching a hen house. When unexamined and unfelt, pain can prey on us and those we love.

Suppression of pain leads to prolonged suffering. If we are brave enough to feel it, pain moves through us more quickly.

What does your emotional pain feel like? I have experienced pain as tightness in my chest, literally in my heart. I have also felt pain like hands around my throat making it difficult to breathe or speak. Pain has moved through me in the form of a waterfall of cleansing tears, sweat, the soothing vibrations of Tibetan singing bowls, comforting sips of tea, cleansing salt baths, writing poetry and through meditation. Each of us has a unique process. Cry, dance, bake or paint – do whatever you need to in order to let pain out and create more space for peace within.

Practice #6: Visualize 12.6.17

Visualize yourself experiencing peace and hold that feeling as sacred.

Also known as mental rehearsal, visualization is known to improve performance. Whether you are an educator preparing lessons, a student about to deliver a speech to your class, a doctor getting ready for surgery or a musician about to preform on stage, imagining yourself realizing success can both transform nervous energy into calm focus and improve outcomes.

The same holds true for our interactions with one another. Behavior related conversations among administrators, educators and parents can become especially contentious. At the end of the year there are often increased demands on families and schools alike. Resources are spread thin. Visualize yourself in the student’s shoes and communicate understanding. Empathy is the root of trust. Exercising compassion builds discipline better than any traditional reward and punishment system.

Practice #7: Get Adequate Sleep 12.7.17

Getting adequate sleep helps our brains function better.

We may think we are supporting a group’s efforts by continuing to work even when our body is screaming at us to sleep, but when we hurt ourselves, we hurt those around us too.

Highly sensitive individuals may have different needs for sleep than others. Listen to your body and trust feelings of fatigue mean it is time to rest and replenish.

Practice #8: Examine Biases 12.8.17

Flaws in our thinking can inadvertently reduce effectiveness or worse, cause harm.

For example, evolutionary biology can lead to us caring the most about people similar to ourselves. The bias of concern reflects our cultural values. For example, some social scientists report Americans hold more concern for domestic animals than farm animals and therefore may have different ethical standards of care for each.

At times, this bias is evident in donation patterns. We often donate more (time and money) to causes when there are real or perceived benefits to ourselves or those we care for. Sometimes the bias of concern results in these investments not being maximized. For those with financial abundance, this is something to consider during end of year giving.

Click here for an overview of frequent biases. Talking about the various biases that influence decision making grows awareness of how we can positively impact more lives.

Practice #9: Count Blessings 12.9.17

Gratitude practices improve both our well-being and our relationships. These can be done privately through journaling, reflections and sending positive thoughts to someone we care for or through more traditional thank you notes and public acknowledgements.

A simple sticky note can work wonders. This message left on my desk only took a few seconds for a colleague to write, but had a greater positive impact on me than perhaps any prior public recognition. Reflecting on our blessings and extending gratitude plants seeds of peace.

With that we are off to write a list of people who have made a significant impact in our lives recently and send each a thank you note by the end of the day.

Practice #10: Grow Awareness of Empathy Avoidance 12.10.17

Empathy avoidance happens at those times we focus on our own feelings of upset to avoid feeling another person’s pain. Nick Cooney, effective charity activist and author, shares a few of the ways human beings engage in empathy avoidance:

  • Diversion Strategies: To limit our exposure to unpleasant feelings
  • Apathy: Anything I do won’t make a difference anyways, so why try
  • Refusal of Guilt: It’s not my fault so therefore not my responsibility to work to fix
  • Projection: Blaming others
  • Victim Denigration: The more a person has suffered, the more society blames them

Victim denigration is driven by a desire to feel safe. If it is the victim’s fault, then the world feels more just. Interestingly, research shows providing evidence of the victim’s innocence is often counterproductive.

Recognizing empathy avoidance can help us shift to engagement.

Practice #11: Adventure to Some Place New 12.11.17

When we go someplace we have never been before, literally or metaphorically, it is an opportunity to grow the skill of mindfulness. In a new environment, we pay more attention to our surroundings.

Here’s to practicing being present and growing awareness!

Practice #12: Conscious Media Consumption 12.12.17

As citizens, we have responsibility to be aware of current events and to take action when injustices occur.

We also have responsibility to protect children and sensitive individuals from injury. Some films and media use violent images that can place people at risk of experiencing vicarious trauma. Witnessing violence can put the nervous system on edge, negatively impacting thinking and learning.

Being conscious of what we expose ourselves to can help in maintaining and spreading feelings of peace.

Practice #13: Keep Moving 12.13.17

Regular exercise supports mind and body integration. There is a significant body of data illustrating exercise enhances cognition, as well as improves physical and mental health.

Even those among us with regular exercise habits can be deterred by cold weather or additional end of year responsibilities. A short 30 minute walk refreshes and connects us to our surroundings.

Practice #14: Share a Hug 12.14.17

We live at a time where pervasive inappropriate, unwanted and even tragically injurious physical touch is being brought to light. At the same time, people are craving connection.

My Father taught world history and psychology at a large urban high school in the Midwest for nearly half a century. Early in his career, he used to assign hug homework. Students were invited to hug a certain number of people a day and report the impact on their mood and relationships. Students reported this was one of their favorite assignments because of the joy it spread. At a point, this homework practice was no longer allowed because of legal concerns.

It goes without saying that permission should be asked prior to hugging. Today, educators are coached on the art of the sideways hug, how if a student approaches to hug, to turn sideways and receive them with a shoulder.

Experts working with highly sensitive, creative and gifted individuals report many have a higher need for physical touch than their peers. Some of my clients have written to their children’s educators asking them to please touch their child – place a hand on their arm or on their back between their shoulder blades when displaying signs of anxiety such as a bouncing leg or clenching a fist. Touch often brings relief.

This leaves us wondering, “If we had more appropriate, caring touch would there be less relational aggression and abuse among people?”

Practice #15: State What You Stand FOR 12.15.17

As the saying goes, “Where attention goes, energy flows.” In saying what we stand for, rather than what we are against, we direct valuable time and energy in that direction.

So simple, yet not easy, especially when confronted with violence.

Practice #16: Tend to a Plant 12.16.17

Tend to a plant. Our relationship with nature is reciprocal; when we take care of the earth and plants, they nourish us in return.

Practice #17: Try a New Creative Practice 12.17.17

Creative practices cultivate innovation skills, transform emotions and support the healing process. The range of creative practices span visual and performing arts. Crafting counts. The possibilities are endless: painting, baking, sculpting, whittling, making homemade lotions, sewing, photography, gardening, etc. Supplies can be found in nature or even in the trash or recycling bin.

Dedicate time and space to trying a new creative practice today and pay attention to your emotions. We are willing to bet you will feel more peaceful after.

Practice #18: Take an Optimistic View 12.18.17

Some believe that optimism and pessimism are fixed personality traits, but research and experience teach us otherwise.

Six Seconds and other research institutions illustrate optimism is in fact an emotional skill that can be measured and learned. In fact, the skill of optimism has a significant impact on life outcomes including health, achievement and relationship quality.

Practicing optimism comes easy with practice. Optimism is fundamentally about taking a perspective of choice and opportunity. This does not mean ignoring reality, but rather focusing on the aspects of a situation that are within our influence and our emotional relationship with these events.

Practice #19: Be Silly 12.19.17

“Laughter is the tonic, the surcease for pain.” –Charlie Chaplin

Laughter releases and transforms pain to joy.

Nearly 40 years ago, an article was published in the New England Journal of Medicine by Norman Cousins speaking to the potential medicinal benefits of humor and laughter. Patch Adams, renowned physician and social activist, pioneered putting humor into practice to better care for his patients. Adams continues to use play as a foundation in his work transforming the health care system in the United States.

Practice #20: Build a Cairn Tower 12.20.17

A cairn tower is a human made stack of rocks. In ancient times, cairn towers were built as monuments, trail markers and sometimes held astrological meanings. They can be created with small stones inside your home or backyard. The cairn tower in this image was built in a wash out area after a devastating flood. The practice of balancing rocks soothed.

Practice #21: Meditate 12.21.17

Joyful Winter Solstice!

We saved one of the most powerful peace practices for the day of the Winter Solstice, the mark of the start of a new season and the shortest day of the year.

Around the world celebrations and rituals are held on the solstice to welcome the return of light.  Symbolically, meditation  transforms our inner dark to light. There is an abundance of scientific evidence linking meditation to increased well-being. If meditation is not already part of your daily practice, we highly recommend trying it.

Have a hard time sitting still? Meditation can take various forms; a practice that works for one student, may not for another. Spiritual leaders and emotional intelligence practitioners are often good resources for one-on-one coaching. There are also a variety of applications that provide guided meditations including HeadSpace, The Mindfulness App and Calm. For some, taking a walk, knitting or even cleaning the dishes can be a meditative practice. Looking for a book? Moody Cow Meditates is a favorite. It is silly, practical and enjoyable for just about any age reader.

Practice #22: Hydrate 12.22.17

Hydration impacts mood and brain functioning. Surrounded by hustle and bustle, it can be easy to forget to drink enough water. How much water is enough for optimal hydration? That depends. This article from the Mayo Clinic provides some insight into how much might be right for you. In general, if you are feeling thirsty drink up!

Practice #23: Explore Crystals 12.23.17

Sesame Street consultant and gifted education pioneer Annemarie Roeper once wrote about how bright and empathic children are often drawn to rocks. I noticed the same in my work with highly sensitive and creative youth. In fact, when I taught at a school for gifted learners, I kept a book on the metaphysical properties of various crystals in my office. Children would often enter with excitement and then wonder, “How did the crystal know what I need?!?!?” The process of exploring rocks and crystals often connected children with their intuition or inner knowing.

Many well-renowned clinicians and educators we collaborate with also use crystals in their work. Whether you believe the sources across cultures that proclaim the metaphysical properties of various rocks or not, growing a strong relationship with the natural world supports well-being. Here is a list of some crystals our friends and colleagues report using and their associated benefits (per Crystals by Jennie Harding):

Amethyst – to support in creating feelings of calm and alleviating stress

Clear quartz – to enhance peace and clarity

Moonstone – to balance, clear and support new beginnings

Rose quartz – to attract love and create harmony

Sodalite – to enhance decision making and provide a sense of fellowship in groups and enhance trust

Sunstone – to support mind / body integration and relieve anxiety

Turquoise – to protect and enhance love-based communication

Practice #24: Listen 12.22.17

Listening is one of the most undervalued and critical of the communication skills. Even the best listeners benefit from additional practice. Active listening pays attention to nuanced communication details including tone of voice and body language. In person communication always provides the richest data. Today we are going to actively listen to a friend for five minutes and then communicate back to them our understanding to assess our efficacy.

Want to deepen listening skills even further? Listen to your environment. What do the animals and plants tell you about your surroundings? Are the bees well fed? Did you know the presence of dragonflies is an indicator of environmental health?

Practice #25: Celebrate 12.25.17

Sing! Dance! Celebrate the people, places, events and practices that create peace in our world however you feel inspired. Try turning on some music – how does your body feel called to move?

Practice #26: Learn about a Different Culture 12.26.17

Growing understanding about how language and culture shapes how we experience the world creates peace by deepening connection. No matter how much we have traveled or collaborated with people of diverse backgrounds, there is always more to learn given the nuances and complexities within each culture. For example, the financially affluent within a culture likely have a very different experience than the food insecure.

Today marks the first day of Kwanzaa. For those unfamiliar, the seven days and candles represent the seven principles: unity, self-determination, collective responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith. All are welcome to participate in Kwanzaa celebrations independent of religion or national origin. Practicing the seven principles supports in creating more harmonious communities.

Practice #27: Try Aromatherapy 12.27.17

Proust wrote about smell being a powerful memory trigger in his famous novel In Search of Lost Time. Some felt Proust was a neuroscientist of sorts ahead of his time.

Lavender is a scent well-known to support relaxation. Yet for some, this is not the case. I have worked with students for whom the scent was a trauma trigger. For others with olfactory sensitivities, any type of scent can be unsettling. Experiment to see what if any scents work to create feelings of calm for you.

Practice #28: Soak 12.28.17

Bathing is a health privilege not everyone is afforded; clean water is a luxury. Besides physical cleansing, baths or showers also create feelings of peace. You might also notice a positive change in young children’s behavior after playing with or in water.

Practice #29: Journal (or Doodle) 12.29.17

Writing letters or keeping journals is a practice that dates back to 10th century Japan. There is increasing evidence of the positive impact journaling has on health and well-being. Reported benefits include increased self-awareness, stress management, improved relationships and enhanced creativity. In fact, in the best selling book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron believes so strongly in journaling that she advocates for a daily practice she calls morning pages. Cameron hypothesizes creativity is awakened through stream of consciousness, unedited handwriting each morning.

Practice #30: Listen to Tibetan Singing Bowls 12.30.17

Found in monasteries and temples around the world, Tibetan signing bowl music is said to balance the left and right side of the brain. Reduced anxiety, lower blood pressure, improved circulation and increased clarity are among the other associated benefits. Some practitioners have built entire businesses around sound healing using not only Tibetan singing bowls, but also gongs. Never heard these sounds before? Many recordings are available for free through YouTube, as is Calmness of the Mind (a Tibetan singing bowl recording) through ITunes.

Practice #31: Love 12.31.17

Let love be your guide. Always.

Peace, Joy and Blessings to You in the New Year!

Creating Inclusive Communities

Posted on Posted by Kate Bachtel Categories Uncategorized

Many among us have fantasized about a world where there is only one rule: “Be Kind.” We imagine a utopic society where everyone is held in a global embrace. Connection to others is immeasurably important, especially for outliers whose developmental uniqueness is socially isolating by definition. Arguably, feeling connected to community is the single most important predictor of healthy development. As global citizens, each of us is tasked with creating more inclusive communities.

Pain Caused by 2016 Election Results

Tragically, we have to face the reality that many of our neighbors are being harassed because of their race, gender, sexual identity, cognitive differences and/or spiritual practices – from name calling, to threats, to exclusion and marginalization (including “de-friending” people from social media who express differing view points) or worse.

Our children are growing increasingly sensitive and cognitively complex. Some are emotional sponges, physically experiencing the emotional pain of the people around them. Many feel scared because of prior harassing, discriminatory and/or abusive behavior; some have experienced physical injuries, others emotional, including PTSD. Reminders of past traumatic events can cause re-traumatization (like a vet who hears a fan which triggers memories of a helicopter in a war zone). For some, this is at the heart of their election pain – Trump’s racist, sexist and abusive behavior causes re-traumatization.

The “B” Word: About Bullying

In schools, this behavior is addressed under the construct of “bullying.” Bright students can camouflage suffering and also be manipulative – the child claiming they are being bullied may very well be engaging in relational aggression, and likewise, the student who says nothing, may be in desperate need of help. Furthermore, many children’s sensitivities and perfectionism can negatively influence how they interpret social exchanges. It can be difficult to discern between conflict and bullying. Recently, I supported a school through a situation where a parent was bullying another child by calling the student a “bully.” The family exhibited individualist, competitive behavior; it seemed the mother possibly saw the other child’s accomplishments as a threat. Fortunately, the school caught on. Teachers continued supporting both children equally. When the mother did not get her way (sadly, she was set on the other child being labeled a “bully” and was pushing for expulsion even though there were no indicators of bullying behavior), she transitioned to a new school resulting in a healthier classroom community for those who remained. Name calling, including labeling someone a “bully” or “evil” whether at school, home or work is bullying behavior. The bullied becomes the bully, the oppressed the oppressor. To stop the cycle of violence, we must address the behavior rather than draw divisive lines that separate and perpetuate.

By: Carling Jackson of Humanity Art For more info, please see: http://carlingjackson.com/

Individual and collective decisions shape culture, which in turn, influences cognitive development. I have been fortunate to support in co-creating a few communities where diverse learners thrived. The level of synchronicity was magical. There is an art to balancing responsibilities with commensurate expertise and decision making authority. When expectations, expertise and authority are mismatched, resources do not align with needs and/or injurious behavior is left unaddressed, the system becomes imbalanced. Nature corrects with chaos. In these situations, injustices may spread like wildfire, the smoke signaling destruction needs to occur before flowers can bloom again.

Inclusive communities take measures to prevent and address aggressive behavior. When harmful behavior is purposefully or selectively ignored, it can fuel a destructive blaze. It helps to clearly define bullying behavior; Stopbullying.gov describes it as follows:

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Bullying behavior does not end in school. Here are a few things we can do to promote healthy community development in both schools and the workplace.

Five Precautionary Measures:

  1. Adopt and publish healthy communication practices and conflict resolution protocol. Craft a communication manifesto – resolve to assume positive intent! Distinguish between conflict and bullying behavior. With conflict there is acceptance of responsibility, expression of regret and a change in behavior. Excluding someone who is open to genuine dialogue perpetuates the cycle of aggression.  There will be times every human disagrees with others. Diversity is not only our strength, it unites. Organizations need frameworks for navigating disagreements and conflict in healthy ways. Tensions among individuals often illustrate unmet needs and areas for growth. If we are unwilling to engage in perspective taking, all loose. The Center for Nonviolent Communication has many wonderful resources to support dialogue (cnvc.org).
  2. Outline an investigation process and take all allegations of bullying behavior seriously. Identify and communicate consequences for bullying behavior, and also for submitting knowingly false accusations.
  3. Protect from retaliation. Limit interactions between individuals involved until the investigation is complete. The perpetrator of bullying behavior may try to stop the inquiry and injurious behavior may escalate. Some individuals can be particularly sensitive to perceived criticism; the fear of negative behavior being revealed may result in more egregious acts.
  4. Educate about bias. There are a variety of biases that impact how we process information. Understanding the variety of factors influencing our thinking supports just decision making. There are countless different types of biases – click here for a helpful overview.
  5. Celebrate upstanders. The Bully Project defines an upstander as “someone who recognizes something is wrong and acts to make it right.” Witnesses who do not take action are implicitly supporting and empowering bullying behavior. The long term benefits of taking action to stop aggressive behavior always outweigh the short term costs.

The Virtual Paradox

Social media has enhanced our ability to connect with others around the globe. At the same time, the geographic distance makes it easier to bully as individuals do not experience the impact of their words on others. Individuals posting hateful words and lies in public spaces can often harm with impunity given the dearth of bullying legislation. Additionally, sometimes there is incongruence between a person’s actions and what they write about on-line. The images and words a person posts can be deceiving. The virtual world holds equal potential to empower and destroy.

The complexity of educating requires tolerance for ambiguity as we teach children to trust, while also protecting from harm. In healthy learning communities, sometimes temporary separation is the only way to nurture inclusivity. When one child hits another, literally or metaphorically, the kind thing to say is a firm, “Ouch!” or “Stop!”

What to Do in the Moment

Here is an excellent video on what peace makers can do should they witness racist, or other types of threatening or abusive behavior:

And a few additional resources:

Thank you for your work to support each human being in thriving!

(Adapted from an article originally crafted for the September 2015 SENGVine Newsletter)

Redefining Gifted – “This is Genius!”

Posted on Posted by Kate Bachtel Categories Uncategorized

If you have not already seen “This is Genius,” watch it now – we promise it will bring joy and a welcome reminder of the beauty in each and every human being. The short and inspiring performance reflects SoulSpark’s belief in the Power of One.

Genius is knowing everyone can do honorable work.

Intelligence and success are culturally defined constructs.

Many among us have experienced the magic of diverse communities which believe in the Power of One Principle – places where each individual is empowered to bring their best self forward and the collective good is prioritized. One way to begin shifting school culture in the direction of inclusivity is by celebrating students excelling in non-traditional, untested subjects in the same way as learners achieving at high levels in core classes such as math, literacy, science and social studies. How about the student musician who writes a lullaby for her baby brother? The eco-conscious young chef who makes breakfast for his mother working two jobs? Or the performance poet inspiring with shared vision like in “This is Genius?” How can we challenge ourselves to provide new channels for these students’ invaluable contributions?

In inclusive learning communities, all are held in a circle; there is nowhere to hide or get lost. Likewise, equal is not equitable. Each of us has beautiful layers of complexity – unique cognitive, academic, physical, social, creative, emotional and spiritual strengths and sensitivities. When woven together, these variant threads make for a strong, resplendent community tapestry.

Today we take a moment of gratitude to recognize the seeds of peace and love “This is Genius” plants.

Shine On,

Team SoulSpark