Words Matter.
How we self-identify influences self-concept and how we relate to one another.
The term “gifted” is an antinomy.
It connects many to communities where we are validated and feel seen, where it is easy to breathe. Yet, the word is heavy, so heavy. Few use it when describing themselves and with good reasons. Simultaneous to uniting and growing self-awareness, when used out loud, the label creates distance. Gifted implies innate, unmalleable superiority contrary to the research on neuroplasticity. Unfortunately, some who use the word to self-describe engage in privilege hoarding behaviors that fuel misconceptions and biases. Sometimes the term is a trigger, reminding adults of oppressive and traumatic childhood educational experiences. Gifted falls short in describing truth.
The Problem with Pobrecita.
The definition of giftedness includes asynchrony in development. No one knows exactly where giftedness ends and twice-exceptionality begins. Like the horizon connects earth and sky, so too are strengths and needs joined at a blurry, enigmatic point in time and space. The perception of where union occurs is contingent on context and perspective. A person may be perceived as gifted, different / disabled or both, depending on the environment and the lens through which they are being viewed.
Labels for some neurotypes come with legal protections and compassion. There is diagnostic overlap among some of the physiological and neurological characteristics of giftedness and other exceptionalities. Western medicine’s orientation towards pathologizing makes it more likely a child will be identified with a disability than as a neurodivergent gifted child. With ambiguity and choice, some feel it is more politically safe to identify with the disability side of the same diagnostic coin. For example, having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may be received by neighbors and educators with greater empathy than psychomotor overexcitability associated with giftedness.
Making oneself appear small and less threatening is both adaptive and maladaptive. While marrying cognitive diversity and disability may feel safer, Pobrecita, “You poor little dear,” is a problematic way of relating. The cost of positioning oneself beneath another is the potential internalization of deficit messaging, of feeling less than, and relationships with power imbalances.
Embrace Truth, Transform Lives.
If a word creates more painful distance among people than already exists, has its time passed? The word gifted can be a conversation stopper and barrier to effective advocacy. It is not how many altruistic people who truly are describe themselves in public. Asking people what word(s) they use to self-describe, or explain the neurotype, expands understanding and strengthens relationships.
Previously, SoulSpark Learning partnered with leaders, including the Rogue Valley Brainery & Ludoteca, to try and “Rebrand Gifted.” This culminated in a grassroots campaign at the National Association of Gifted Children’s convention in 2015. Attendees were invited to share words they use to self-describe – some of the most frequent mentioned were complex, intense, sensitive, creative and compassionate. We fell short. Our timing was wrong. No one word emerged with consensus. There were lessons yet to be learned.
Now, the documentary film The G Word, has a similar “My Gifted Story” social media campaign and Gifted/Talented/Neurodiverse (G/T/N) Advocacy Week October 25-29. SoulSpark Learning invites you to participate and connect with us at the National Association of Gifted Children’s convention in Denver this November. Each of SoulSpark Learning’s directors will be presenting sessions and facilitating conversations on how we can unite to be more effective in our advocacy efforts. To prepare, we will be facilitating a virtual conversation on this same topic with The G Word director and producer, Marc Smolowitz. Will you join us on Sunday November 7th at 4pm mountain time? Click HERE for more information and to register for this free event.
We are grateful for you and love connecting with you – here’s to the work ahead!
