Towards the end of the school day, Esperanza is called to support a student who is throwing classroom materials and yelling at other students that he hates them. He rips a poster off the wall then lunges forward with fists clenched at his sides. His eyes are wide and seething with anger. Tears stream as he cries, “Get away from me!” As the classroom teacher has students quietly leave the classroom, Esperanza sits on the floor. She turns on quiet classical music and observes. The student starts to de-escalate. Esperanza’s facial expressions mirror the student’s distress. When he appears grounded enough to listen, she states “It looks like you might feel angry; how can I help?”
Esperanza is a neurodivergent exceptional education teacher who weaves magic in her interactions with children. She is able to support multiple aspects of each student’s emerging self simultaneously. After regulating students, she supports them in developing the emotional skills needed to build strong relationships and engage with the academic curriculum. Her empathy, sensitivity and listening skills are her teaching superpowers. Most who work alongside Esperanza recognize her exceptional teaching and leadership skills. Esperanza is also a truth speaker who challenges systemic inequities. Despite strong diplomacy skills, she experiences frequent microaggressions from colleagues. Esperanza’s exemplary practices are inspiring to many, and perceived as a threat by others who prefer the unjust status quo.
Neurodivergent individuals experience relational aggression at school, and in the workplace, at rates more than double their peers. As a result, their identity development and health may be negatively impacted.
Part of the work of positively transforming schools begins by defining and recognizing ableism. Ableism is discrimination and/or social prejudice against people with disabilities and/or neurodivergence, based on the belief that the abilities and functioning of the majority is superior to outliers. Children who thrive in a typical, or general education classroom, are considered superior to students who need specialized services, environmental modifications and accommodations to sustain their learning and growth. This includes both students eligible for gifted and/or special education services.
Ableism towards those with unseen neurodivergence is especially difficult to recognize and remedy. At its core, ableism assumes neurodivergent individuals are in need of fixing. Ableism includes when a person in a position of power sees a neurodivergent colleague, student or client as less than – “Oh you poor little thing.” Even if these are not the words used, nonverbal communication and tone of voice convey pity and superiority.
Internalized ableism is when children, teachers and caregivers feel less than because of how they have been treated over time.
Here are a few examples of behaviors that could be signs of internalized ableism:
- Hiding or denying one’s neurodivergence and/or feeling ashamed about it
- Despite strengths, feeling incompetent
- Making choices to align with the expectations of parents, teachers or leaders rather than personal values
- Feeling unworthy of accolades and achievements
- Overcompensating for neurodivergence by trying to prove or explain oneself
- Forcing oneself to do activities that lead to overwhelm or burnout in the hopes of gaining acceptance
- Self-isolation
- Apologizing when having done nothing wrong
- Self-deprecation
- Compliant behaviors
The absence of high quality specialized education services during a person’s K-12 school experiences increases the risk of internalized ableism and compromised mental health over the lifetime. Aligning instruction with learning and human development research is critical. Nurturing a culture of belonging is the foundation of well-being at school. Programming that focuses exclusively on academics, with little to no attention to other aspects of the emerging self, can cause harm.
School programs that promote conventional definitions of success tied to specific outcomes, or careers, often unintentionally contribute to internalized ableism.
If a neurodivergent individual identifies as a “former gifted child,” or struggles with mental health connected to achievement, they did not receive instruction aligned with human development research. Sadly, there are too many specialized programs, especially those marketed as “gifted” schools or programs, that are not. Private gifted schools can be especially problematic as they have to fundraise to survive which often results in catering to financially affluent families rather than to neurodivergent children. These programs contribute to myths and misconceptions that stunt advocacy efforts.
Initiating conversations about internalized ableism is a critical first step in protecting those with unseen differences. As awareness grows, neurodivergent students, teachers and parents deepen understanding of how they process and experience the world and become less vulnerable to the harmful effects of subtle ableism. What are some examples of ableism you have witnessed or experienced in a school setting?
