Thoughts, without spoken words, can be a powerful way to connect. I recently had a successful telepathic parenting moment with my teen during a driving lesson. She has her learner’s permit and was practicing during rush hour. For the past few weeks, impeachment arguments have been broadcast across airwaves, perhaps creating feelings of agitation. And, it’s the holiday season. Some drivers are harried trying to meet end of year deadlines, prepare for travels or to host guests. The surrounding environmental anxiety level was high and I was proud of her for driving mindfully.
Then it came time to turn left off a busy road. Her signal was on, but the long line of cars behind us was not slowing. My daughter’s focus was on the road ahead. She was uncertain of exactly where to turn and was slowing to be extra cautious; it seemed she might stop. The possibility of us getting rear ended was real. My body tensed while silently screaming “Go, go, go!” Verbalizing this would have likely increased her nervousness and the possibility of an accident occurring. Instead, I took a deep breath and thought, “I love you, please, please keep moving.” Miraculously, she sped up and turned. (Note: This is not an endorsement for driving instruction by telepathy).
What can we do when there is wisdom we want to share, but children aren’t ready to hear it? Telepathic communication can be a self-care strategy; it can satisfy the desire to take action without interfering in the learning process. Telepathic practices also reduce sensory input for highly sensitive youth. Less talk equals less potential for overwhelm. And, in reducing verbal noise, we might increase understanding of the nuances of nonverbal communication.
Sometimes telepathic communication works, other times not so much. Here are a few successes:
- Situation: A student with highly self-critical behavior is working on a project. There is a misspelling in the title.
- Telepathic thought (lovingly delivered while looking at the mistake): “You misspelled adenosine triphosphate.”
- Result: Student notices and corrects the error.
- Situation: Children are preparing to leave the house while navigating competing and contrasting sensitivities. If we don’t get out the door in the next few minutes, we will all be late.
- Telepathic thought (delivered with a smile and direct eye contact): “Thanks for getting in the car now; it will help create a peaceful start to the day.” (walk immediately to car after)
- Result: We all make it to where we need to be on time sans argument.
- Situation: Students return from a performance rehearsal to work on projects in small groups. One student has a serious case of the zooms.
- Telepathic thought (delivered kneeling beside the student, first looking at them and then at the group project): “Your classmates need your feedback and ideas, can you please help them?”
- Result: Student tunes in and joins in the work.
And for amusement, an example of a telepathic failure from earlier today:
- Situation: I am writing this piece while eating some toast with jelly. I am considering having another piece so leave the jar out on the counter.
- Telepathic thought from a family member to me: (delivered while looking at the jar with both disgust and love of the obliviousness of being in flow): “Seriously Kate?!?! The jelly you just ate is moldy.”
- Spoken words after I continue to eat the toast: “Did you notice the jelly you are eating has mold?”
- Result: No, I was so focused that I enjoyed the toast mold and all. The jelly was not wasted, but other side effects remain to be seen.
When the emotional weather conditions create a flurry of worry, don’t forget your calming and grounding friend telepathy. You might be surprised by the gifts of reflection, patience and connection she brings.
